I have avoided seeing my ex for the most part. Unfortunately…. it’s not often, but there are times when I have to drive by his place.
The other day, I was thinking about him. Wondering where he is, what he’s doing. Is he in town? Is he healthy? So I purposely drove by. The same dog that I saw months ago at the Big Showdown was sitting out on the porch. I thought to myself… their relationship must be getting serious. I hope she’s OK. But, he’s probably in control of everything in their relationship too. At least I half hope. Half hope? Yes. In ways I hope he’s OK and she’s OK and they are going to be happy. In other ways I hope he’s just as controlling with her as he was with me so at least I won’t be considered the issue that was our relationship. Also, because a part of me thinks he doesn’t deserve to be happy… yet.
I’m back to normal though. I feel it. Now I’m just living life, for me. Making decisions again, for me. But some things have changed for the better. I still dream of sharing my life, love and bed with someone, but that someone is going to have to be pretty special now. I am not going to share my intimate life, my hopes and dreams, my special precious time with just anyone. No longer am I settling for Mr. OK. I want Mr. IT.
And only Mr. IT is going to know how to scoop me off my feet.