Mind and Body

feeling better when I’m numb…

I am currently on day 21, folks.

My lungs feel better and I’m not even really craving anymore. I’m lucky in that no one around me smokes so it would appear that I was the only outsider in my immediate circle. That’s right. Cold Turkey.

I am amazed, actually. All my other quits didn’t work, why this one? Why is this one so easy? Should I be expecting something to blindside me and make me want to start again? Hmm…

I would like to have some answers in regards to my blood work. If my thyroid numbers are in fact coming down, that could be a good thing. Now if only they would level off for a while, so I can get back to this normalcy that seems to be a dream for me. Maybe my numbers will stay even and I’ll never have to deal with this again. Maybe I will begin to feel better about myself, better about who I am, be motivated in life.

Because of this underwater feeling that I have currently been experiencing, everything is extremely loud these days. Things that are meant to emit noise, such as TV’s and people and vehicles and things that emit ambient noise like the fridge and fluorescent lights and ticking of the clock in the other room… all extremely loud. Even though all this loudness gives me a headache at the end of the day, it does drown out the constant ringing in my ears. I only hear the loud ringing when it’s finally quiet in the middle of the night. So I never really get any peace. Noise or Ringing… as if I want to choose.

It makes me think, though. Never mind the ringing in the ears; no wonder the world is full of cranky people. No wonder people these days can never just sit and enjoy silence. Between our full days with our electronics and our stimulation and our nights with air purifiers and appliances and furnaces, it’s no wonder that the human race gets any peace and quiet.

Perhaps in some sort of strange medical anomaly, the ring finger on my left hand has decided to start tingling and feeling a bit numb. At the rate I am going, by month’s end I am going to shrivel up like Gollum and spend the rest of my life searching for some stupid ring. I think I may have already developed the split personality so I’m well on my way to dysfunction.

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2 Comments

  1. Congrats on getting to day 21!!!

    I love those nights when the power goes out and everything is complete silence. It seems I sleep so much better without all the humming and whirrring.

    As for your left finger, stay alert, you never know…

  2. You go girl! That’s awesome.

    Wonder what the tingling means? Hmmm…

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