Goodbye Short Days. Hello! Long Days again.
I have, over the years, preferred to be creative at Christmas. I’d rather make presents than buy presents. But I always leave it until the end of November to start thinking about it. And every year, I go through the pain of trying to get every present made before the deadline. Sometimes I wish it was easier to just go spend an afternoon or two, browsing and shopping, then wrapping and tagging.
With the pressure of Christmas, and the pressures of everything else, I have had more down days than up days. But, as yesterday was really bad, today is a bit better.
Thanks for your concern, everyone. I do appreciate the good thoughts and prayers. I have lots of shitty things to say about the last year and a half, and I will work through them so I’m not so tormented anymore. The thing is… I’m sad and angry and those are two things hard enough to deal with, but for me are amplified by my thyroid. So, it “feels” much worse than it actually is, but it’s still damn hard. The hardest ever. This is, without a doubt, the worst relationship I have ever had. My only hope is that it turns into the best relationship I have ever had. I want to learn about myself and confront my own patterns. I don’t want to dwell on his actions, I want to examine my own.