I haven’t talked about Diesel here much, mostly because it was too painful to let him go. I’m the type of person who tries not to look back much. I try to look forward.
Passa and I had just moved into a new house. Big. Spacious. Both of us were animal lovers. It was October and since we had a big backyard that was fenced, we thought it was time to get a puppy to expand our family. We already had a beautiful black cat named Aqua, whom we had taken off our neighbour’s hands because he wasn’t home enough.
Things with Passa and I weren’t exactly great at that time. I was lonely and I love dogs.
I have had two other dogs with two other ex-boyfriend’s and they had broken my heart when I had to leave them. When we were deciding to take Diesel home, I told Passa that he could, under no circumstances, try to keep the dog if we decided to part ways. I’d given up two other dogs and I wasn’t about to give up a third to a man I would likely never see again if “we” didn’t work out.
Well, as you can correctly assume, we DID NOT work out. We split up in early January, 2003, but lived in the same house because of our lease and our love for our dog. Plus we worked in the same place, so it worked out just fine. Our lease was up in May and after much searching around, Passa bought a house and I moved in with a new roommate, someone whom I didn’t know very well, but was a friend of a friend.
We were moved in for three days when my roommate discovered that he was allergic to dogs. Well, this kind of dog anyways. I was heartbroken. Do I move, once again and try to find another place that takes dogs in my budget? I was barely unpacked as it was. So, I asked Passa if he would take Diesel. He had a new home, close to The Company, so he always zipped home for lunch anyways. It just seemed like a better deal for Diesel, better than living in a 6th floor apartment downtown.
Passa was really good about it. I know he didn’t want to see me give up my baby, but it was better for him. Passa let me come over often and play with him. Passa was good with him, would never hurt him at all, so I knew he was in good hands.
Since then, I moved to Edmonton, then to Nelson. Passa moved to Edmonton too, after I left for Nelson. He got married and has a life there with Diesel.
I don’t know what happened, but when I was last in Edmonton, I phoned Passa to meet up with him, see the dog. He was just a few months shy of getting married. He said no problem, so we lined things up. When the day came, I called to confirm, but he didn’t answer the phone and he didn’t return my calls. I suspect he had mentioned it to his bride-to-be and she didn’t really want me around her life.
So when I returned to Nelson, I emailed and phoned Passa several times and then finally gave up. I emailed him to tell him that I understood about his new life and how that would be uncomfortable for all of us. I didn’t want to intrude, I just wanted to catch up and see my dog. I told him I hoped Diesel was fine and was living life large. I thanked him for taking care of my boy and that was it. I doubt I’ll ever see him again.